The Wedding is Not a Wedding.

"Does this make me look fat?" Toshlin said as she looked in the mirror. She was trying on dresses for a wedding I was told we were invited to. At the moment she was sporting a dark grey club dress, seemingly meant for a thinner, more confident girl. To be completely truthful she looked like a slutty hippo.

"Toshlin, the situations you put yourself in make me believe you actually like being insulted." I said, less than enthusiastically. As I looked away from her disappointed face, I noticed that she chose mostly clubbing dresses for the both of us. I stood up and went through each dress coming to the conclusion that, in fact, each dress was intended for a night out on the town. This was either a horribly provocative wedding, Toshlin's poor judgement in wedding attire, or something else...

"My dear half-sister... It seems as though you're trying to bamboozle me." I said in an insinuating tone. I observed her movements carefully to take in her reaction piece by piece. It wasn't very often when she would pull one over on me. When she did...who am I kidding? She never has.

I usually know when she's hiding something and as soon as she flared her nostrils and began to flatulate, I knew. "Why whatever do you mean?" she asked. It began to smell horrid.

"Toshlin..." I said as though scolding a child. "We aren't going to a wedding, are we?" Her nostrils were turning white from the amount of pressure her face muscles were putting on them. "We are definitely going to a wedding." she said gleefully.

When she began to snort with every breath, like a gorilla in a bad mood, I was positive she was hiding something.

"Calm down! Straighten yourself up and act like a lady. For goodness sake, Toshlin. I'm not interrogating you. There's no need to go on the defense and gas up the place with the demeanor of an overgrown ape." Although, I was interrogating her, I needed the poor girl to find serenity soon, or we'd be escorted out for bringing in a human monkey.

"I'm sorry." She ceased her brutish behavior and took a reasoning tone. "The thing is, we are going to wedding." She confessed. "But, I figured you wouldn't want to go, but, if  you did, it would be one you'd want to crash."

'A wedding I wouldn't want to go to? One I'd want to crash?' I must have had an irritated look about my face because it drove her into complete confession.

"Dad's getting married!"

I was stunned! Speechless! How could Toshlin be so stupid? This so called 'wedding' is most definitely a trap!

"It's not a trap. He's marrying my mother." she explained.

Poor girl, she's blinded by her mother's happiness.